I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize