yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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