woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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