Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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