So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
