operation have a gay friend backfired
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
