she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
