Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
