Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She told me I should be a condom model.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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