i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
