Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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