pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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