From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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