Please, let me fuck your mom
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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