Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
