Where did you get a picture of my penis
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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