He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
