plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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