oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
