I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
