Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
