I bet he comes in French.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
