Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
