i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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