It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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