I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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