So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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