I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
