He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
