I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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