You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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