Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
