eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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