I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
