Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
