but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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