no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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