Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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