in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
A bitchslap is in order.
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