party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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