Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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