Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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