i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
