My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
