so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
