my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
