I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i need some magic done to my vagina
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
