that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
