Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
