i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my being single is dangerous.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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