I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
