I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I've blown a few things in my day
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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