Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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