It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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