Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
