What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
