He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
